I’ve always loved to be alone and to be quite, when I was in England I would spend hours on my own reading and reflecting on the things of this world. It was my choice to spend my time with God, I would skip meals and time out with friends to spend time with my Father in heaven. I enjoyed the quietness after I had done my daily routine of work, going for coffee with friends and just driving around on my own. I wanted to be separated from this world and spend it with God and this was my choice.
I have a different kind of quite time, I now live in a country where I can’t drive, I can’t just go for a walk on my own and I have to rely on other people to help me get shopping. This means I now spend a lot more time on my own, I now live on my own so I don’t have people around me making noise. The only noise I have is the noise that I make plus the ambient sounds of crickets chirping all night also the ocean rising and falling. I know that this type of quite takes a bit of getting used to, I’ve realized that I like a bit of background noise and with out it I have actually found it hard to have quite time alone with God.
What I have also found that when this quite time was my choice it was easy to enter into God presence but now that its not always my choice I must admit I find it hard. I find myself thinking about all the things I could be doing, trying not to scroll through Facebook and trying not to think about how much I miss Italian food. I must admit I miss lasagnes and and pasta dishes that come covered in layers upon layers of melted cheese, Indonesian is well know for it rice and noodles dishes which I love. But with this type of quite time I have to train my mind not to wonder and its hard because its not always my choice.
I am learning that I love Papua with all my heart and that I am not homesick. I do miss my family and friends but we are keeping in touch everyday so it doesn’t feel like I’m missing out really. I am learning that I actually need God more than ever here because I can’t do this on my own and that this is where my heart is. I love the place, the people and the culture!
I am actually learning a lot more about myself and God but He doses’t change. I am finding out that God is my everything and that without Him none of this would be possible, I am learning that He provides my every need from a small glass of water to a great team around me who help me when I feel lonely. I am also learning that I need to spend this time with God because if I don’t I will never grow as a person and we need to keep growing. We need to keep seeking God and growing so we can see new dimensions and the plan He has for us, if we stay still and stop growing we will actually die spiritually. Anything that stops growing or reproducing starts to die and thats not what I want I want to grow even more and be stretched to the limit because thats where I find my strength in God and its not me doing it but Jesus.
I have also learnt something amazing which has changed my out look on life, I am happy. I am content with my life as it is, I am happy on my own being with God before a husband or family. I enjoy being separated from this world and spending it with Jesus, I actually feel complete and whole. I don’t need anyone or anything in this world to make me feel whole because I have Jesus. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t like those thing but I know that if they don’t happen and God decides to keep me separated from this world then He will help me to walk that path. I also know that if God decides that I should get married and have children it will be with a Godly man who love Jesus just as much as me, who prays and puts God before me just as I would put God before him, but I am happy either way it’s Gods choice not mine.
I want to challenge you spend some time alone with God, you learn a lot about yourself and you will never be the same again. In this time you will find out just how much the Father loves you and that no matter what this world has done to you, He will never leave you and He will always love you. God bless you all and enjoy your quite time.