We all know and believe that Jesus redeemed us from our past mistakes, we accept this as fact and move in forgiveness. I am personally thankful for this, I’ve made many mistakes in my thirty one years and I know I will make many more. What keeps me going is that Jesus loves me with my past mistakes and will still love me when I make more. This doesn’t give me the right to go out there and live as I choose, I live for Jesus and showing His love in everything I do.

I’m writing this as today I’ve had to share some of my painful past with my new family in Indonesia. This was not easy and I’ve been emotional since! Which is not like me at all! I’ve realized that my past mistakes don’t define me anymore but I still hold onto some of the hurt of those past mistakes. I had to share with the team that I’m divorced which is not accepted in this culture and I had to admit that I am the main reason for the divorce. I’m not going into details over it because Jesus paid that price on the cross but it hurt me to talk about. I’ve shed a few tears since and will properly shed a few more.

I’ve come to realize that I needed to shed these tears and approach the cross again with a humble heart so I can learn from this. I’ve learnt that I still need to forgive myself for this and that although my head knows I’m free my heart isn’t quite sure. I’ve come to realize that my freedom is limited because of this and I thank Jesus for showing me where I need His grace and forgiveness.

I’ve been thinking and praying about this all day, if I am still working through my past mistakes how many others are doing the same? Why do we allow ourselves to be robbed of the grace of God? I don’t know about you but I’m not standing for it any more! I want full forgiveness and I want to walk without past mistakes coming out and cause it pain. I am going to be praying and seeking God for help as I know I can’t t do it on my own. That in my own strength this is beyond me, but with Gods strength He can get me through this.

I want you to know that nothing you have done in the past can separate you from His love and that Jesus love you so much. He went to the cross so we can all be free from sin and our past mistakes. I want you to picture the cross and the pain Jesus had to endure for us so that we can be free, I want you to picture Him nailed to the cross dying so you can be free and I want you to picture Him saying Father forgive them for they don’t know what they do! With His last breath He forgave us, with His last breath He showed His love for us and that is what I want you to picture when the past try’s to drag you down. Your past was paid for on that day, the ultimate love story happened that day and we can all walk in freedom now because of Jesus and Calvary.

So, when the past comes to you again, say Jesus paid for me on Calvary my debt is paid in full. I pray that this helps you with your past mistakes and that you find peace at Calvary from all you past mistakes. God bless you.