I’ve been meditating over the last few day on Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” NKJV or “Within your heart you can make plans for your future, but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there.” TPT

I like most people had an idea in my heart how I wanted my future to look. I would have a family, be married and have at least one child. I would have a certain job earning a certain amount of money and living in a certain house. I wanted to have the life I had pictured in my heart. I kept asking and praying for this to happen and it hasn’t happened yet.

I am living in a country half way around the world, a million miles away from all my friends and family. I am living a life I never even dreamed of let alone thought of. I believe this is because I have let God direct my steps, I have surrendered my life to Him and given Him everything. Is that to mean I don’t get lonely and question what I am doing. No, I question it quite regular!

I stand before God and say I cant do this, I am not the right person to do these things. I don’t have the confidence or the skills to do this and I need your help. I’ve just learnt to be obedient to Him and have faith in Him because He knows everything about me and already knows what my future holds.

If I had listened to my heart I would not be where I am now, I would more than likely be looking around me trying to find someone to fill my dreams. I don’t look to man now to fill these dreams I look to God and ask Him to help me walk the path He has directed for me and give me the patience to wait on His timing.

Is it wrong to have dreams in our heart, I don’t think it is. I think the problem is when we start to take the situation into our own hands, where we look at everything and everyone around us and see if they fit into our dreams.

Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

First we need to find delight in the Lord, we need to delight in His presence. If we delight in Him and put Him first then He will give us the desire of our heart. That mean our plans, our dreams and our deepest longings. But, only when God is above everything else, when He has the correct place in our hearts and lives. We can skip this stage and get the desires of our heart the human way, we can look around and work it out ourselves. We can try and find the spouse, the job and the house we want. I have done that myself, but now I want God to be in control. I want God to bring everything He has planned for me in His time. I am working on my relationship with God first and giving it all to Him to deal with. I am preparing my heart and letting Him be the desire in my heart first and foremost because when I meet this person I want God to be the centre of my heart and relationship. I am making the most of my single time to experience life with God and to find out where I need Him and where I still need to surrender to Him. I am searching my heart for where I lead the way and where God is second place. I want God to be the king of my heart, I want Him to be the focus if my life.

I am trusting Him to direct my steps in this life. I am trusting Him in every aspect of my life, especially where I am at the moment. I feel that most of the time I don’t know what I am doing and I am thankful for this because I rely totally on God, and this has given me the trust I need to surrender my plans to Him.

I have surrender my life, dreams and plans to the author of this world and I cant wait to see where this leads. I cant wait to see how my life continues to change and how my relationship with God grows. I cant wait to see where this next chapter will lead me and I know that God will uphold me because I know I cant do this on my own, that He is everything to me. That He is my strength, my guide and comfort when I am lost.

Thank you for paying for my sins on the cross so that I can be free and that now I am adopted by you, that I am now a child of God. Thank you Lord for all your help and guidance, thank you for giving my the courage to face each day with you by my side. Thank you for giving me the chance to share your love every day and to serve you for the rest of my days.