The last month hasn’t been easy. I’ve lost an uncle who funeral it is today and I’m still in Papua, Indonesia. In my heart I’m there with my family as they bury my Uncle. I’ve wept with them as they have dealt with this sudden loss.

I had to make a decision was I going to fly back to England for the funeral? I spoke to all my family and it’s a long journey, also it’s very expensive. So after much time in prayer and seeking God I decided to stay where I am. I made a commitment to God which I’m sticking to. This does not mean that my heart isn’t broken and I’m not grieving, I very much am but I have chosen to put God first.

As I am writing this I’m on a plane bound for Nabire, Papua. Were doing a week of training and crusades for the lost. This is what God has called me for, to reach every tribe, nation and tongue. To put Him first above all things even my family.

I’ve spent a lot of quite time with God over the last month. We’ve spoke about commitment and discipline. I’ve come to the realization that I’m committed but not always disciplined, I start off all well and then I fall short. I need to run this race with endurance because this life is a marathon not a sprint.

I’ve made a commitment to seek God first in a morning and I have to be disciplined to get out if bed and not be tempted by the phone or any other things that want to distract me. As anyone who know me know I’m not a morning person and I love my sleep but I love God more. I am going to seek Him in the early hours and enjoy the quite before my day begins. I’m seeking His face before I start my day.

I’m also looking at my prayer life, do I just pray religious prayers or do I seek God and His guidance. I usually pray a list and what I think and I don’t ask God to show me His heart, this is changing. I’m asking the Holy Spirit to show me His plan to guide my prayer, to give me scripture and pictures to pray. I am seeking His heart above all and praying what He shows me above my thoughts or feeling. I seek His wisdom in all things.

I’m also looking at my quite time with God, do I spend time reflecting in God. Do I meditate on scripture and the promise God has given me? Is His word written in my heart and do I live this out? I seek Him to change my heart.

I know that I have a tendency to do this for a week maybe two and give up, that why I’m being disciplined and making certain times only for God. I am making this my first discipline in a morning and I believe it will bless me and the people around me.

I know a lot of people want the glory but are willing for the sacrifice or discipline it takes to reach there calling. I am prepared for the sacrifice and discipline it takes to reach the calling God has for me.

I think and believe that as we grow with God we need to keep growing and pushing for more of Him. This is our choice, I’m committed to God and I long to know Him more each day.

God is good and He will guide you step by step, He has the perfect plan for you.