The last month hasn’t been easy. I’ve lost an uncle who funeral it is today and I’m still in Papua, Indonesia. In my heart I’m there with my family as they bury my Uncle. I’ve wept with them as they have dealt with this sudden loss.

I like most people had an idea in my heart how I wanted my future to look. I would have a family, be married and have at least one child. I would have a certain job earning a certain amount of money and living in a certain house. I wanted to have the life I had pictured in my heart. I kept asking and praying for this to happen and it hasn’t happened yet.

It all started when I turned 32. I had a great day with my Indonesian family, I spoke to my family in England and everything was good. Well until doubts started to creep into my mind about being 32 and not having a family of my own, being single and just being alone. I was physically never alone because I was surrounded by my family here in Indonesia, but to see them all with there family wasn’t making these feeling any better, in fact it was making it worse.