I’m one of these people that the whole world could be falling apart and unless you knew the real me you would think she has it all together and life is going well! I’m extremely good at faking happy and well put together because that what the world wants and no body wants to know that life is hard and you’re barely coping.

It all started when I turned 32. I had a great day with my Indonesian family, I spoke to my family in England and everything was good. Well until doubts started to creep into my mind about being 32 and not having a family of my own, being single and just being alone. I was physically never alone because I was surrounded by my family here in Indonesia, but to see them all with there family wasn’t making these feeling any better, in fact it was making it worse.

“It is only as we see His holiness, His absolute purity and moral hatred of sin, that we will be gripped by the awfulness of sin against the Holy God.” The Pursuit of Holiness – Jerry Bridges.