I had to understand that for twenty-eight years I had lived by the world standards and I had sown those seed in my mind and emotions. They were dug deep into my soul, which is where your will and emotions all stem from
What it would have been like to walk freely with God and just look at the world without the knowledge of good and evil. What it would have been like to walk with God in the cool breeze of the sunrise watching the displays of orange, reds and finally seeing the sunrise on the horizon.
I always wanted to be wanted and found my identity in people, I believed the lies that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough and that no one would want me if they met the real me.
I remember God promised to never leave me…as in never ever leave me!
This one encounter changed my whole life and started the process of forgiving the people who had hurt me over the years. I reached a point where I believed I had forgiven them and I was free.
Everyone has some forms of relationships in their life, unless you’re a hermit on a desert island where the population consists of yourself…unfortunately that’s not me.
I’m at the moment going through Gods testing and probing to see if my motives are pure. I’m questioning if my heart is right and if I have put my trust completely in God for the next year.